Sad Lullaby... An untold story...

Once upon a time, a boy fell in love with a girl... But, it became a sad ending on a lullaby night...

(Note: This is example one of many stories where every people were also grown up by experience.)

JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL
The story started at year 2003 when the characters in the story still in junior high school 2nd grade.

YEAR 2003
There’s a boy (Let’s say his name was R). R was skinny, NERD (wearing eye glasses), naïve and little bit weird with his attitude on his age that time. That’s why he was always being bullied by people around him in his school.“Hey, freak! Be a good dog, will ya??!” “Look! It’s the servant of us! HAHAHAHA!!” “I’m sorry you’re not match with our high prestige gang.” “You’re a crybaby! I can’t imagine if you’re my boyfriend!” “Hey, look! The little boy is crying again! Soon he will call his mom’ to scold us! BOOOOHOOOO!!”

R was really sad with his life. His family never understands what’s going on. Because, what they did just scolding, scolding AND scolding at him. So, he told what he wanted to share to the madam in his school bus (Let’s say her name was H) & she was the only person who understand his feeling. R also entered Tae Kwon Do (one of his extracurricular in his school) in order to not being bullied again. But, it was no use.

There’s a girl (Let’s say her name was E) who tried to defend R and always being with him. “What did you do with him? That’s enough!” said E to those bastards. R just started to cry because he was too scared and couldn’t do anything to defend himself.

E seemed to have fun being with R because R was kind and humble although he was little bit weird on his age (or maybe still growing up). Soon, they became close friends. SMS-ing, playing, having fun together, etc. They were being bullied by some bad people, but they can pass it together. They also had quarrel for a while, but they soon forgive each other.

Seen they were changed & close each other, there were still some good people who want to help R to become better person. They also being friend with R and tried to tell R what is right or wrong although R was still like an 8 years old that time. Overacting, or ... What is it? In Indonesian we called it as LEBAY. :P And, etc.

YEAR 2004
Days were passed. The students graduated to grade 3rd. Some of the bad people failed, especially the boss of those bastards. R & E haven’t met for a while since it was school holidays that time.

Unwittingly, R started to think more about her. He really missed E. He hoped that it would be in the same class with her on the 3rd grade. But, the reality said otherwise. They weren’t in the same class. There’s another boy (Let’s say his name was K) who also liked E from the end of grade 1st and still continued until grade 3rd, but being a good friend with R. K has already confessed his feeling to E, but E rejected K’s confession. And sadly, R and K were in the same class.

First, they were fine. But, suddenly R and K had quarrel because K thought that R also liked E. “You stay away from her or else!” R thought what’s going on. He realized that K thinks he was getting in K’s way to get E’s attention, but he still didn’t want to make the problem more complicated.

As time goes by, everyone had grown up. Everything changed. E became more beautiful, also her attitude, her smile, everything. So do R & K. R changed a little bit & became more confident. He also started to learn playing guitar. Also, R started to think about E more often than usual. But K still did everything to get E’s attention and cornering R.

YEAR 2005
R realized that he fell in love with E. But he was seldom texting SMS or meeting with E at school. And the only way to contact her is only with SMS since R still shy meeting E face to face because they were seldom meeting each other at school & not in the same class. R had quarrel with K more often in SMS. So, R started to texting E more often than usual and gossiping everything that the can talked about. But, R felt like everything was different. It’s not as fun as like he and E being together in 2nd grade. Thought that maybe just feeling, he continued what he wanted to do.

There’s another problem. The gossip between K, E and R spread among the students and became gossip. Not from those three, but from the bad & good people who observe everything around them. Some gossips said that E has already known what’s going on & she said that she wouldn’t accept any request from any boy to become a girlfriend. Some of them said that E was much more matched with R than K. R didn’t really care with the gossip & he kept struggling to get E’s attention although K did the same thing.

Everything became more complicated. Until one day, R was ready to confess his feeling to E. R planned to do it on 14th Feb 2005 (valentine day), but he too nervous. People around R have already supported R to do it ASAP, but R really nervous. He also asked some of his friends how to confess the feeling in front of a girl. Everyone just asked him to say what he really wants to said directly before it’s too late. And finally, R hasn’t ready yet to do it. Meanwhile, K use every ways to warned E to be careful with R.

4 days after valentine day, R ready to do it again. This time, R came to E’s class on break time. First, R just walking around and gossiping with E’s classmates. They supported R to do it quickly. K just watched in front of the class door. Soon, R came to the seat where E sat with some of her classmates.

“Hey, E. How are you doin’?”
“Hi, Fine. Thanks. Hehe..”
“Umm, may I have a little talk with you for a minute?”
“What? Hurry, I’ve to study for economic test.”
“Ok, ehm... I know this is maybe will make you surprised, but I just want you to know that I Lo--” (When R started the confession, E’s best friends came to the class & shouted loudly “CIEEEEEE!!!!” And then everyone laughed together and came around R and E, so do K.)

“C’mon R! Say it!” “Hurry! Almost there!” “What’s wrong, E? Your cheek looked so red?” “Owhh, sooo sweet~”

R just became too nervous with the condition. Don’t know what to do, R finished what should he wanted to say to E. “E!! I LOVE YOU!! WOULD YOU WANT TO BECOME MY GIRLFRIEND??!” But, E replied “I can’t, R! I’ve to study for economic test right now!”

Everyone shouted louder than before & clapping hands. “ACCEPT!! ACCEPT!! ACCEPT!! ACCEPT!! ACCEPT!! ACCEPT!! ACCEPT!!” Neither R nor E, both of them were being awkward. The bell rang which is meant break time was over. R was speechless & return to his class with awkward feeling, so do K. R couldn’t concentrate on the next subject. Well, it was physics & it was a lab practical. :P

R told everything to ma’am H and some of his friends on the school bus. They were amazed that R really did that. R was little bit satisfied for what he’s done, but worried about what would happened next. When arrived at home, R received a text message from E.

“Hey, R! Thanks for saying that to me! I was really surprised! Hehe.. Btw, I want to know why do you like me? :P”
“Well, I just want you to know what I really feel about you. You’re a kind girl. You’re really kind to me. I like that good side of you.”
“Thank you! But, I really sorry I can’t. I’ve to study more seriously for the final national exams, ok? Hey, we’re still friends, aren’t we? :)” (Well, that was the classic reason which being used by many girls to reject boy’s confessions. Silly, but that’s the fact.)
“That’s alright. No problem. Of course, E. :)”

So, R and E started to texting SMS each other almost every day. They talked everything that they could tell about. The bad news is R subjects’ marks were dropped slowly. It was E’s birthday & she had planned a lunch with her friends. R and K were invited. K came by himself using taxi. Sadly, R’s house was too far from E’s hometown (Nobody wanted to bring him to there.) & he had just scolded by his mom because his marks were really bad after he confessed to E. R said sorry to E that he couldn’t come to her invitation. In change, R gave a birthday present to her at school. E was really happy with the present & accepted it gratefully. (It’s just a purple file binder book.)

Next, it was R’s birthday. R didn’t make any lunch party like E did because his house was too far from his friends’ house. Surprisingly, E gave R a birthday present too. She gave him a blue wallet to R. Of course R was really happy with the present. R typed SMS to E.

“Oh my god! It’s my favorite color! Thank you very much, E!”
“Hehe.. Very well then. You’re welcome, R. :)”

By the way, the next conditions weren’t as good as what should be imagined. R texted SMS to E too often which made E bored to reply R’s message. R always started the SMS like this “Hey, E. What are you doin’ right now?” E replied like this “R, does it important that you always asking what I’m doing every day? Don’t you have other things to do like study for final national exams?”

Some of E’s closest friends know what E’s problem to R was. They just thought how naïve R was. “Meh.. Next time if I meet him, I won’t pay attention for what he wants to do or what he wants to say, especially if that was for you, E! R was really an unimportant person ever!” Said one of E’s friends (Let’s say his name was G, and he is a ... What is it? In Indonesian we called it as banci / bencong / waria.).

Another problem, K thought that E was still belongs to him and E still close to him too. K had quarrel with R again. “You’d better watch what you’ve just done until now! You’re not worth it for her! You’re just another freak who just thinking her all the time & can’t think with healthy mind! E do that just because her sympathies for you! You’re just a pathetic boy!” R replied “What’s your problem? She’s even not yours. I still have a freedom to do whatever I want since she was still my friend. Neither you nor me or even E, we’re all same. And why did you start quarreling with me since the beginning?” Too bad, K didn’t pay attention to what R explained. Because of that, some bad people started to mock R from the back. R told E to warn K to watch out what was he has done. “Tell your friend to watch out for what he’s done to me. I’m sorry you were involved.” E replied “It’s not about what both of you going to do! Stop act like I’m a trophy to be won! Please, that’s enough! I’m tired with both of you!” R was speechless.

R’s marks were really-really worse that before since he confessed to E. And, the same things happen again. His family scolded him again about his marks. His mom’ cried & shouted at him. “R! If you were like this until you grow up, it means I failed to raise you up!” R really confused with his condition. “If these keep going, I afraid I won’t pass the final exams. I’ve to do something to fix it before it’s too late.”

The other problem is... R wouldn’t register for senior high school at the same school because the fee (registration, yearly school payment, books, uniforms, transportation, etc.) was really freakin’ expensive. So, R’s mom’ would move him back to old school where he started primary school there, but this time he registered to senior high school since the school was very near with R’s house. The good news, K also would move to other senior high school. Sadly, E still registered to the same school.

A lot of things were happened. It felt like R was forced to grown up. It wasn’t as comfortable as R felt before. R kept texting SMS to E for keep contacting with her, but E just replied as necessary. Also, everyone was struggling for final national exams. So do R, knowing his marks were really bad and he had to struggled extra hard to fix them. A lot of things were kept coming and coming. R was cornered by some people (some of them were E’s friend) because he was considered as unimportant person. “Ohoho~... Poor R. What a little crybaby boy. His confession was being rejected by E.” “In fact, you’re not match with E, but you forced yourself too hard! How silly you are!” R felt like everything were getting worse than before, but he didn’t have time to pay attention to them & forget about E to focus for the exams.

And finally, they passed the exams & graduated from junior high school. Here come the graduation day where everyone used graduation dress (In Indonesian we called it as “Toga”.) & saying goodbye to everyone who moved to other school for senior high school, especially R. Sadly, R didn’t met E after the graduation ceremony finished. Looks like E went back too early. Before the holiday started, R asked some of E’s friend to took care of her when he had already not became one of them again in senior high school. And so, this was the end of junior high school & the new beginning of senior high school. It’s time for holiday.

SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL
The story continued when everyone have already entered the senior high school.

YEAR 2005
Holiday was over. New academic year of senior high school began, especially for the 1st grade students (Orientation activities. :P). It was really a new thing for R although it was his old school, but R could adapt with the school’s biosphere so fast because it was the school where he studied in primary school there. Different biosphere forced R to made new relation with new friends & old friends in senior high school. In fact, senior high school was really different with junior high school which made all of the students became very busy every day. So many assignments, lab reports, daily test, remedial (for those who failed on daily test :P), etc.

Of course R still missed the school when he still at junior high school, especially E. R still had contact with his junior high school friends by texting SMS or messenger / Friendster on the internet. He also still had contact with E, but E became too cold with him & just replied his SMS as necessary. Sometimes R still asked how E’s condition to some of E’s friends quietly. Some gossips said that K came to their school with different body condition. K became fatter than before & wore SHS uniform from his new school. R came to his previous school once to take his junior high school graduate certificate & met with some of his friends there, also met with E too. Unfortunately, they were just passing each other & only say ‘hi’. The conditions have completely changed since R moved from there & R was like being rejected by some SHS teachers and some people there who didn’t happy with R existence there to meet with his friends.

Until one day, E knew that R asked some of her friends to took care of her from one of her closest friends (Let’s say her name was Q). R used to tell everything all the stories to Q on messenger, especially about what he felt about E. Q told E about R asked some friends to took care of E. “For me, the people who should be took care of were us. Not you, E. I believe that you were mature enough to take care of yourself among us.” Said Q to E.

One day, R was bored & texted SMS to E “Hi, E! How are you doin’? :)” Then E replied “Hi! I just want to say that I’m strong & mature enough to take care of myself, so stop asking everyone around me to take care of me. Please?” R surprised by the reply from E. “Why did you say that? I just want you to be fine!” Said R. “My friend said that the people who should be take care of are my friends, not me. I’m sorry if I hurt your feeling, R. But, please understand. I don’t need to be taken care of by my friends.” E replied. “Okay2. Don’t be angry. I’m really sorry. We’re still friends, right?” Ask R. “Yeah, whatever.”  E answered.

Days were passed. A lot of business happened in school. Sometimes R texted SMS to E, but she never replied his SMS since she said that things to R. Of course R felt guilty about what happened before & R felt that he was too excessive to E. So he said sorry to E by SMS, but no reply from her. R was annoyed his SMS never replied by E, he texted “E! Why didn’t you reply my message?! I just want to say sorry about what was happened before! Is this what did you call as friends?!” No reply from E anyway.

On 19th November 2005, there was an education fair from R’s previous school when he was in junior high school. It’s a part to celebrate school’s cup, and it’s called as “Lullaby” cup. Ma’am H asked R to attend the school fair, of course R wanted to come because he wanted to meet E. R came to school fair with ma’am H only. So many things happened after R graduated from junior high school. So many changes at the school like the school finally bought gamelans (Indonesian Balinese music instrument), new decorated gymnasium, new rooms for new activities, etc. when R came, some of his friends greeted him warmly, some of the others weren’t happy with R there. When R saw E around him, he didn’t called E because he didn’t has courage to speak with her. R knew that E may be very mad at him. It was clearly visible on her face & she never looked at R, only get together with her friends. R met with Q, and told everything what was going on. Q understood the problem & she said sorry about what E said to R that she didn’t need to be took care by people around her because it was Q’s fault for saying that thing to E. Too bad, everything has already happened. The shows on the education fair were surprisingly amazing. There were band performances, modern dancers, drama performances, gamelan players, etc. What a surprise, E also one of the gamelan players. The shows closed by the students sang school’s mars. R back to home with ma’am H with regret feelings. Ma’am H understood what happened to R & asked him to speak directly with E when he would meet her again at the cup’s closing ceremony on 26th November 2005.

R tried to contact E in one week before the closing ceremony day come, but no good response from E. She didn’t even reply R’s SMS. Some of R’s friends from his previous school told him to stop what he was going to do because it was no use & it was only stupid things if R still not gave up on her attention. But R didn’t listen to them. One day before the closing ceremony day, R didn’t text SMS to E. Instead of it, he tried to call E with private number. Too bad, she rejected R’s phone call. R was depressed with the conditions. Finally, he just texted SMS to E. He told her that he would come to “Lullaby” cup closing ceremony. And as always, no reply from her.

Saturday / 26th November 2005. The day of “Lullaby” cup closing ceremony has come. R was ready to come to his previous school with ma’am H and one of his physics teacher (Let’s say his name was B). Ma’am H has already bought 3 tickets for both three of them. It said on the ticket that the school has invited an artist/musician to perform on the school. It was Ten2Five, one of the most popular band/musicians that time. R used to learn the band’s songs & practice their songs in guitar when he was still in junior high school with his friends. One of the most popular Ten2Five’s songs was “I Will Fly”. It said that Ten2Five has just released their second discography album with new single called “Don’t Say Goodbye” that time.

When they arrived at the school, there was a big stage at the center of the school field. It was very crowded, a lot of students & people everywhere. There was a bazaar where people can bought foods, drinks, souvenirs, etc. R was greeted by some of his friends, but they just only say ‘hi’. Some people & R’s other friends were gossiping each other about bad things from R like R was a stranger for them there, especially to new academic year students. “Hey, crybaby! How are you doin’? HAHAHAHA!!” “Look! He’s the one who I told you before! The bad boy with bad things around him! Wkwkwk!!” “Wow! I never thought that rubbish would come here! LOL!” “Oh, so he came for being bullied again?! WAKAKAKAKAK!!” “What’s the point to him for coming here?! He’s not part of us again anymore!” As always, R saw E but he still too afraid to speak with her. So did E, she just kept get along with her friends. E’s friends looked at R with cynical stare which make R felt awkward being around there.

The closing ceremony shows started at afternoon. A lot of awesome performances have showed like the school’s band, awarding trophies to the winners of the cup, modern dance, jazz performance from UPH music band, other performances, etc. Everyone was standing in front of the stage, so did E & her friends. R & some of his friends just stood behind some people near E & her friends. Along with the shows go on, sometimes R looked at E. But E didn’t pay attention to him. Sometimes E did the same thing, looked around her & saw R near her. But then she looked away to other side around her. R really didn’t have any courage to talk with E. He felt guilty, but he didn’t know what to do & how to say sorry to her.

The night has come. Here comes the artist, Ten2Five! Everyone shouted out loud happily. Ten2Five opened their performances with song “I Do”, and then continued with other songs like “My World Is Full with You”, “Ready to Lose You”, “Rum Raisin Chocolate Ice Cream”, “You”, “Say You Will”, etc. Most of their song performances were from their first discography album.

Here comes their next performance, “Don’t Say Goodbye”, a single from their second discography album.



You stood in the rain. Packed up and ready to go.
My tears are falling again. It’s because of you...

Will you call me when you get there? Will you miss me every day?
‘Cause I'll be waiting here at home, 'til you knock on my door again.

Chorus:
Baby, please don't say goodbye. I love you too much just to let you fly.
I need you to be my only one, even if you're a thousand miles, away from here..... Away from here.....

(Back to chorus)
I love you too much just to let you fly.
Don't say goodbye (Don't say goodbye)
Don't say goodbye... Even if you're a thousand miles...

Along with Ten2Five’s performing “Don’t Say Goodbye”, something happened which made R never forget it. On the night where everyone shouted out loud happily with Ten2Five’s “Don’t Say Goodbye” performance, R saw E from the distance, so did E to R. R wanted to come closer to E, but E didn’t allow R to come. E looked away to other side, and then went away from there & missing through the crowded of people. E’s friends pass through in front of R & just say ‘hi’ with cynical stare. R couldn’t do anything there which it made him so damn guilty for everything that just happened. Ten2Five closed their performance with their very first single, “I Will Fly”. After the performance finished, it’s time for closing ceremony ending from the “Lullaby” dancers. Knowing R couldn’t hold on his feelings like that anymore, so he asked ma’am H & sir B to back to home.

On the way back to home in car, R seemed very quiet.

“What’s wrong, R? Are you alright?” Asked ma’am H.
“I'm tired.” R answered.
“Have you talked to her? How is it?” Asked sir B.
“Very bad. Totally worse than I thought.” R answered.
“It’s alright, R. Someday she will forgive what you’ve done.” Said sir B.
“That’s right. Don’t be losing heart like that. You have to cheer up, boy. There are a lot of other flowers out there.” Said ma’am H.
“That’s it. Try to be a better boy too, R.” Sir B continued.
“I know. Thanks.” R replied.

R arrived at home, and then brushed his teeth & ready to sleep. But he still didn’t believe what had just happened. “What did I’ve done?”

--- THE END ---

EPILOGUE
What happened next? Well, a lot of things were happened. R was physically changed, like new hair style & wearing new eye glasses. He entered some extracurricular activity in his school like band and yoga, tried to forget about E. But, he can’t. Every time R heard Ten2Five’s “Don’t Say Goodbye” on the radio, he felt sad all the time because he still couldn’t forget the night at “Lullaby” cup closing ceremony. It’s really hurt to him, also guilty.

YEAR 2006
It’s been a year since the first time R confessed his feelings to E 4 days after valentine day when he still at junior high school. Some of E’s friends scolded R for what he’s done which made E and her friends annoyed all the time if they remembered him. R thought that maybe he has already dumped from their society since he wasn’t the student of their school again anymore. But, what could he do since they were too far from R’s hometown? R just messed up with himself & everything.

It was E’s birthday. R just texted SMS to E “Happy Birthday!”. What a surprise, she replied the SMS “Thank You. :)”. Next, it was R’s birthday. Another surprise, E texted SMS to R “Happy Birthday!” too. R was very happy & replied “I can’t believe you still remember my birthday! Thank you! :)”.

Some gossips said that K registered to enter his previous school. It also said that K came to the school and talk to E that he registered to enter the school for next academic year on 2nd grade. Of course R surprised with the gossip & asked ma’am H to find information. Ma’am H found the information. It’s true that K registered to the school, but then rejected because he failed on the filter test. So, R told to everyone from his previous school that K failed to enter their school. E heard the gossip about what R said to them. She texted SMS to R.

“How did you know that K failed to enter my school?” Asked E to R.
“From ma’am H, the teacher who take bus absent for students when we’re still in junior high school & at the same hometown.” R answered. (R & E we’re at the same hometown & on the same school bus when they still in the 1st grade junior high school, but then E moved to the new hometown which closer to the school in 2nd grade.)
“How did she know that?” Asked E.
“She’s an administration teacher in your school’s institution. That’s why she could find the information. Why?” R replied.
“Nothing. K came to my school & talked to me that he would enter my school on the next academic year in 2nd grade SHS.” Said E.
“What? He came only talked about that to you? Meh. How ‘KEPO’ he was!” R replied.
“Stop calling people ‘KEPO’. You don’t know anything. I’m going to warn you. Don’t do anything stupidly if you don’t want to be in trouble & for now please stay away from us.” Said E.
“Fine. Whatever.” R replied.

One day in senior high school, R tried to help his close friend who was facing a problem (Let’s say her name was S). Although it wasn’t his problem, he still wanted to help S. But, S back scolded R “Why did you try to do something stupid?! It’s not your business anymore! You don’t know anything! Stop being so ‘KEPO’!” Hearing that sentence from S, R remembered the same thing like E said to him before. It really hurt him very much. S realized that she was too hard to R, and then she apologized to him. R told her the story between him & E. R said that the only thing he needed was the forgiveness from E, so everything could back to normal. Again, S scolded R “After you got the forgiveness from her, what would you do next?! Asking her to be your girlfriend again or what?! Will she be the same like you told me?! You have to stop thinking of her all the time! Or you will trapped in your past forever and EVER!”

YEAR 2007-2008
It was really a hard thing for R to forget about E. He needed almost 3 years in senior high school to forget her. In 3 years, a lot of things happened to R like felt being dumped by his previous school friends, always being scolded because of his naïve habit, being messed up, other problem in his senior high school, a lot of business, etc. He needed a lot of time to stabilize & heal himself from the past. Being an outcast from his junior high school friend’s society made him grown up to became an impulsive – vengeful person and has a very bad unstable emotion. He even wanted to take his revenge to ‘the bastards’ who dumped him for a long time ago if he had a chance to do it. But, what could he do with the business that he faced in his school? The people who he respected a lot in junior high school turned into bastards who cornering, dumping & mocking him. All what he could do was just built his vengeance with sadness, hates & angers.

“I won’t ever forgive people who hurt me, especially ‘those bastards’. If someday they came to me asking for apologize, I won’t ever forgive them. I swear it.” Said R.

What happened again next?

YEAR 2008-NOW
Well, other stories have begun.

FINAL NOTE: Who the hell is R? Well, actually R isn’t me at all. R is only my old friend from the past. Problem? :)